Nothing worse than heartbreak

My heart feels as if it was just ripped out of my chest and stomped on... I feel like I can hardly breathe. It takes all of my power not to cry, and even so, I find myself crying virtually all the time. He was the best thing in my life and somehow I messed that up. A day doesn't go by where I don't kick myself for being so dumb. I would do anything and I mean ANYTHING to go back in time and fix the mistakes that now stand out like sore thumbs. I worked on myself, I am making progress and that is not good enough.

I lost my best friend and boyfriend in one day and it kills me inside. I know time heals all wounds but honestly, I don't see this wound ever healing. I screwed up by acting crazy during my darkest hour and that drove him away. That and the distance that plagued our relationship for a better chunk of time. I really miss my best friend, but what hurts is he doesn't miss me...

</3 heartbroken forever.

Feeling rejected

Ever have those rough patches where everything seems to be slipping away? I have been feeling that a lot lately... It's sad that all I want is to be loved back.

It's my way or the highway

Ever have people give you an ultimatum where it's pretty much their way or the highway? I seem to be facing that a lot these days. It's getting to the point where I don't know what to do. No matter what I do, I seem to disappoint somebody. It's coming to the point where I feel like I am going to lose love or my family. Will there ever be a time where I won't be disappointing everybody?

Life is what you make of it

Today is a new day! With that of course comes new challenges. Even though it can be quite difficult, it is important to overcome those challenges. One thing that completely amazes me is how people are always telling me that I only think about myself. If i only thought about myself, I can guarantee that I would not be doing the things that I do-cleaning the house when people are too tired, cooking everyone nice meals when they are too tired, stuff like that. I am always doing for other people, yet somehow, that gets completely overlooked by some. Why? I wonder. It kind of stinks when people automatically assume, when they do not even know the whole story. 

Anyways, it is important to remember to rise above those challenges that try to break you down. While it may not seem like it, life won't always be a struggle. Life is what you make it. Which is why I am done letting myself fall between the cracks. I am going to work harder than I have ever worked before, to pursue my dreams. I am turning 22 in a little over than a month, so now is the time I shine. I am done putting myself after everyone else. I am going to work hard in school and get the degree I have always dreamed of. Life is what you make of it, and that is what I am going to live by.  

Life's Mess

Now summer 2014 is halfway over and I sit and wonder... Am I happy with the way things are going? The answer is no. I have that feeling that I am getting nowhere in life and it honestly makes me sad. I should be getting ready to graduate next year, but I am nowhere close because I am stuck in this never ending circle of a mess. I look around and all I see is mess. I can't help but wonder, is this what my entire life is going to be like? Hopefully the answer is no, because I honestly do have hopes and dreams.

New Year, New plan

Happy New Year!

Now that the new year is upon us, I find myself thinking about how my life is going. Anybody else struggle with feeling like you aren't doing anything worthwhile yet? I find myself thinking this all the time, so i've come to the conclusion that this is the year that will change. While I don't know what I want to do exactly, I think i've got a pretty good idea. First I'll have to make some healthy changes. More on that later!

Hope everyone has a great New Year! Make this YOUR year! :)

Summer is almost here!

Finals week is almost over, meaning Summer time is almost here. Most people would be excited for school to be over, but me? I actually am going to miss it for a few months. It's going to be weird not constantly reading or working on school work. Needless to say, I am very excited for classes to resume. I just can't wait until I can transfer to a University. 

Now that Summer is almost here, now what? I think it'll be fun to go on runs and swimming! Another thing I am excited for is a nice rain storm. Nothing is more relaxing than the smell of rain and the sound of it hitting against the house. 

Hope everybody has a good day!